Saviour..

A Saviour on a hill dying for my shame. Could this be true? Defies the world I see, yet this is all my heart was longing for. To know You my Lord, to know You Lord.

You deserve, you deserve. You deserve all the praise.

The heavens wept for You. The earth cried out, "Could He be the One?" For You so Loved the world, You gave Your only Son to say, I love you so. Oh how I love you so.

You deserve, you deserve. You deserve all the praise.

Hallelujah to the King. Hallelujah, we will sing, FOREVER.

And all humanity, aches to find this Beautiful Love You give. We come to You again, to offer up our lives. To worship You alone, to worship You alone..

I'll praise You in this storm

I was sure by now, that You would have reached down. And wiped our tears away. Stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say "Amen". And it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain. "I'm with you.." And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives.. and takes away..

I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when, I stumbled in the wind. You heard my cry. You raised me up again. My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on? If I can't find You...

As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain. "I'm with you." And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives, and takes away...

But I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands. For You are who You are, no matter where I am. And every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side. And though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm..

I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.

PraiseYouInThisStorm
>> casting crowns

sometimes we may not understand why God allows certain things to happen. we question. WHY?? but yet we forget, we cannot fully understand His soverign plan. Yeap, and though sometimes Jesus may choose to calm the storm, at other times He chooses to ride the waves with us..

twelve

chapel was good today. its been a while since i last played. chapel is sure a different experience frm behind the keyboard then standing at the back. n tho many times i ask God to check my motives and to help me worship Him with my playing, today it was His work tt everything turned out well. yeap quite a lot of ppl said it was good. and we played well too. praise God! =)

fyi. for your information, fairfield youth impact. haha..

this yr this period of time is really different frm the last 2 yrs. lower sec exams did not seem so scary. usually its which papers im more fearful of. now its which papers m i not? i think only eng, maybe humans. hmmm ive been planning my study schedule, trying to follow it. so far following, but not studying enough, like for each day i study the most 2 chapters. then im realising tt i don think i can finish! ahh mainly cuz of lit. english teacher and twelfth night. im gonna change my studying method for lit for this eoys. a bit risky, but no choice. it'll be faster. i hope.

twelve days to exams!

haha but i think we've been encouraging each other a lot in our studies.. yea n im encouraged... if we do well, we do well together rite? yeap lets continue to jia you..!

=)

In His time

Once there were 3 trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty. "Then the second tree said, Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull." Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came up on the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter," and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. At the second tree the woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard!" The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one," and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and He stood and said "PEACE" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat. Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

got this story frm annette's blog. =)

dance again

to whoever needs it:

Are you struggling? Do you feel as though you walk these streets alone? Are you fearing? That a love you lost will leave you on your own. And are you crying? For someone to hear that painful story. Inside your humbled spirit. Don't be afraid to give it, One more chance.

Dreams are ever changing. How we used to think that they would all come true. But don't stop smiling, when the Maker makes a trial just for you. Hold your focus, though it may be through the tears of hurt, inside a broken spirit. Don't be afraid to give it, One more chance.

You are not alone. Though the world may fail you. Hold your head up high, realise that He loves you. And though your prayers might seem unanswered, don't forget He is the Master of all timing. I know you'll dance again.

So give a little sigh. And have faith you'll reach a higher destination. Why not try to take a look around, and notice all your blessings. Life is not so harsh that you can't live it. Why not rise to give it, One more chance.

dance again; deb fung - innermost being

china immersion trip 05

oh man. everytime i look at my blog ill like wonder why i still keep a blog.. when i nvr seem to be able to blog.. haha yet if i stopped blogging properly sometimes ill still want to.. okay anw its been almost one whole month since my last post. haha okaay.

ah i miss china. okay not china but the time we spent there la. especially in the sch. sigh. really miss them. posted the letter to my china buddy today... :) seriously hope it doesnt get lost in the journey or sth. my mum says i wrote the address too small n the postman will throw away my letter. okay.

haha i feel like blogging in chinese. ke yi ma？haha okay. lately ive been typing emails in chinese n using chinese to msn okay! haha i hope somehow it means improvement. got o level chinese oral when sch reopens so better talk more oso...

sigh..china was so much more...stress-free. its like theres this time frame thingy. before china and after china. n after china only means having to face the huge pile of homework waiting on my table (actually beside me)...so naturally i din want 'after china' to come...sigh but now its here..n now im facing the homework...n i don like to look at it man...haha i actually want to do it cept theres barely any time. my entire 3rd wk of hols (wad hols?) is nearly gone after all the choir + other stuff etc etc...

im juz hoping to finish my hw. argh n once again i abandon my plan to study n catch up.

okay. haha btw ive got a ge ge le... haha n he's called li qiang! :)

this is for his glory

What I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in, on to the crashing waves. To step out of my comfort zone, into the realm of the unknown, where Jesus is. And he's holding out his hand..

But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me, reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed. The waves they keep on telling me time and time again, "You'll never win! You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story. The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!" And the voice of truth says, "This is for my glory!" Out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth..

What I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant, with just a sling and a stone. Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors, shaking in their armor. Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand..

But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me. Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling me time and time again, "You'll never win! You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size to put the giant on the ground. And the waves they don't seem so high. From on top of them looking down, I will soar with the wings of eagles when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus.

Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.

... A2 A2 A2 B3 B4 B4 C6

audition,music min

im starting to realise tt blogging now is so different frm 2 yrs ago. i posted everyday then. n it seemed a lot easier. yet its still the same, in tt of the content..? sometimes i wonder why i have a blog man. haha. but i knoe if i din have one it wouldnt feel rite. i still need somewhere to type stuff like this la. i guess rite. haha.

recently been listening to casting crowns. my sis borrowed it frm someone. the songs r nice...rather meaningful. My last entry was one of the song lyrics, Who am I. really like tt song.. ya n quite a lot of others oso.

today had my music min audition. 1030, children's chapel. ppl were kenneth fong, jonas n minghui. so male-dominated rite. haha anw was like quite um scary. cuz i was there at 1030 but not yet my turn so i waited. n heard all the interview qns before hand la. haha but actually i din really think of any ans before the interview today k. hm but its over. they juz asked some qns like why i want to join, my schedules r stuff.. yep then had to go play my song. chose thru it all, tho i only practised this morn before going.. haha i spent too much time thinking of wad song to choose and thinking tt tt will be the song im gonna play n in the end i realised tt i din have a song! n tt was last nite. haha so went thru my sis chords in the com. n chose the song.

had to play it first then sing it. oh well its over. n it was so fast k. like in abt half an hr over le. but im quite glad im in the music min now. like so long ago le, when i first signed up. haha i was like really happy then.

if we are the body,
why arent his arms reaching?
why arent his hands healing?
why arent his words teaching?
and if we are the body,
why arent his feet going?
why is his love not showing them there is a way?
there is a way.

who am I

casting crowns

who am I
that the Lord of all the earth
would care to know my name
would care to know my hurt?

who am I
that the bright and morning star
would choose to light the way
for my ever wandering heart?

not because of who I am
but because of what you've done
not because of what I've done
but because of who you are...

I am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapour in the wind.
still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
and you've told me who I am
I am yours

I am yours.

who am I
that the eyes that see my sin
would look on me with love
and watch me rise again?

who am I
that the voice that calmed the sea
would call out through the rain
and calm the storm in me?

I am yours, whom shall I fear? Cause I am yours, I am yours...

obs!

im baaaack.

yay. obs rocked. i dunno where to start frm. haha. my back itches. ahh cannot scratch. anw all those who have talked to me on msn can see my watch. its my display pic. i scan in the photo liao.

my watch was livingstone. n its pronounced without the 'e' okay so we r not living stones. yea..n our instructors rock! yay will really miss them. mauricette n dee dee. nice names rite? haha.

the first few days were actually quite hard to get used to. if i say i din at all want to end the course n go home or fall sick so tt i can be sent home, i would be lying. but after tt it started to get real fun. i think more towards the third day. the first 2 days i kept getting bitten. i dunno why. expecially since no one else was in my same plight. so super irritating. i think i finished my mosquito repellent. sigh..my arms r quite covered with bites. but heal le. plus now im quite darkened. so cannot really see.

im so glad i din get sunburnt. despite not really putting much sunblock. my sis says im darker. a lot of ppl say no diff. haha. anw i think any tan would fade real fast. so sad.. haha anw its been raining quite a lot. we had to stop so many times the activity cuz of thunder n lightning. okay but i think we were very blessed le. tho got quite a few casualties but mostly everyone was okay.

the kayaking part was the most fun. okay. basically first day was at obs camp2 which is the old campsite. we had the kayaking prac n capsize drills. second day did belaying prac before going for the rockwall. haha tt was quite paiseh, went barely over the red line. elis did the girls proud okay, went rite to the top. then evening walked with the heavy backpacks to the obs camp1. which is super incredibly nice. the toilets r nice. haha n we had proper food for tt day. third day we climbed the inverted tower. tt was fun. cuz me n naomi climbed together n we made it to the top okay. haha thnx meng linn my belayer. then afternn supposed to navigate to the outdoors campsite but cuz of the storm we had to be delayed. so we had no naviation in the end juz went straight. but it was nightfall already so we were walking in soft mud with light frm torches only. then reached the campsite n pitched tents in the darkness. the toilets were juz light sticks k. one per gender. haha.

n a wild boar came to visit. but i din get to see cuz we were already in the tents. i juz heard shouts outside. haha then the instructor chased it away i think. n the next morn the most horrible n super unlucky thing happened. haha for those who knoe..ya. then we had our sea expedition tt whole day. which was the fourth day. kayaked 18km. one round ard pulau ubin. oh man i luv kayaking. haha so fun. n we pee-ed in the sea k. during lunch when we beached up. haha. but then we got caught in the a slight storm. the waves super big n super hard to kayak straight k. so we went on shore to wait out the rain. finally finally reached back to obs camp2. after tt n day 5 nth really much happened le. juz a lot of packing n washing. yep.

*din get to do jetty jump or flying fox. sigh.
*ovaltin/milo powder should only be eaten alone or with bread
*heavy backpacks stunt growth
*obs instructors r nice ppl
*mauricette is a nice name
*livingstone rocks did u knoe?
*outward bound: when a ship leaves the safety of the harbour
...

long break

i knoe i take forever to blog. nvr seem to feel like it. haha.

everytime i blog its always so hard to start, cuz ill like think, when was the last time i blogged? okay. then i dunno how to like continue.. anw okay it finally rained today! like whoo! haha i so love it k. the weather is HOT. n we're gonna go obs in 2 days in the HOT weather. oh mann.

the tests r finally over. n now we have a nice long break cuz we only need to go back to sch on 10may. yay! but to all those having mid-yrs, jiayou ppl! ill pray for ya! don worry, study hard n trust God.. :)

fri was mr glen tan's last day. since um last fri the class started planning to do sth for him. like a farewell gift thing. then we like decided on a video. tho there was like not much time. but anw we only started filming on tues. n we finished on wed. haha see so efficient! but it wasnt really like very well organised la.. quite confusing actually. haha but it was nice okay. quite a lot of ppl said their um goodbyes on the video. n we showed the messy version in class on thurs. cuz the obs overseas ppl not ard on fri so had to show it le. haha quite paiseh actually. got a lot of ppl come n watch frm outside classrm. but he was quite touched la. :) n we got back the amath test.

i passed. but can do better la. hm muz find some way to catch up le. otherwise juz leave it n go on to the next chap oso cannot. sigh. its super difficult to catch up once the chap is over. sigh. n we have to adjust back to miss yeo le.

happy birthday tacklebox! :)

amath. n others.

realised tt i havnt updated for a long time. was reading ppl's blogs juz now. hm tho i don think most ppl really put their innermost being on the worldwide web, theres still a lot to read frm a blog. haha. okay. nvm.

today was a bad day. at least the actual content. had 3 tests: bio, physics, amath. n as i was telling some ppl, first 2 periods was bio, next 2 immediately was physics. had recess to realise even more how unprepared i was for amath then it was the test immediately after recess. after tt i felt so dead. literally of course.

still thot bio was after recess. yep i think i forgot quite a bit of stuff. n my answers seem suspiciously too short. i dunno. if each qn is one side of a foolscap then why does my answer only cover less than half the space?

physics was okay. din get to finish the last qn tho. juz scribbled sth down tho he said all pens down already.

spent much of yesterday afternn in mr glen tan's classroom having amath remedial. we were asking him qns la. went back at 6plus. at tt time i hadnt studied any of the 3 subs yet. so i read thru physics first. strangely today physics seemed quite okay. as in the doing, dunno abt the results. after dinner i read my bio text til abt 830 n i was only at after proteins. but i left it n went to do amath. dunno wads wrong with me, its like whatever mr tan or anyone else for the matter explains any qn i can understand, i can connect n see how all the laws fit n all tt. yet i cant do another qn. another new qn. i dunno how to start it. or i have no confidence in starting the qn la. like i dunno if tts the rite thing to do, or is it like tt? n it doesnt help to somehow be able to have calculation error despite using a calculator too..

i called mr tan at 9 to ask some qns. oh mann they were so easy. like how come i din think of tt? u knoe how freaky it is to be in tt kind of situation at tt point in time..then after tt i carried on.. but i realised tt there were quite a lot more i couldnt do. so i gave up n went downstairs at abt 945. my family was watching tv so i juz watched too til 10. then i went up to do my QT, reading thru Luke now (following the 90 days new testament thing), n went to slp at 1030.

maybe ive been reaping wad i nvr sowed for too long. maybe God is saying its time to sow more, tt after 2 extremely blessed yrs its time to put in more effort. maybe ive been relying on my own strength for too long. so i decided if he wants me to fail another test, so be it. but i need to get the basic foundation there liao. i need to do more.

top five. *screams*

hey. its been abt a wk. still feel like screaming! haha expecially after wad was announced today. like whooo! on the 25 july theres this closing ceremony thing for syf n 5 choirs have been chosen to sing. out of which there is only ONE satb choir. n tt is. FMSS! i dunno if it really means we're like the top 5 best choirs, but wadeva it is, we r chosen. tts gotta mean sth. sth. sth!!! haha tt was after chapel. oh mann. thank you Lord!

haha so crazy. anw now choir has been stopped it feels so so weird. like before tt we were going at full speed n suddenly brake. so.. i dunno, i miss choir leh. haha hope the break doesnt go on much longer. ahh. but its nice to have some xtra time to study too. haha. woke up abt a wk ago n realised tt i have been slacking. seriously. need to start putting in more effort. especially in amath.

yep i failed my amath test. tho tt cant spoil my mood after syf..its quite sobering la. need to well try more. its my responsibility rite? haha. had remedial yesterday. i think mr tan isnt tt bad as he (or we thot) first started out. haha. realised tt every yr without fail so far ive been failing a math test. sec1 was tt algebra thing rite..n it was in sec1 cuz i rem miss lau saying she wanted to talk to me n like understand better why i don understand (um yea) during the level camp. which she obviously din. but nvm la.. hahah. then sec2 i failed the test on algebra (again) in term 2. after italy. so i forgot every single thing abt it n totally flunked it. n mr vincent tan was like 'wad happened to u?' n of course this yr..

haha today's chapel so funny. dunno is it my fault. cuz mrs phua told marcus to play but he had sth on so i said i can play but i forgot tt i had a lit test n would be late n no one knew anw. so by the time i reached they had ended n left so there was no pianist. so today miss toh got mr tan to play guit n sing. haha. okay n then there was drums. so at first i thot. okay caleb. then the beat got slower. okay not caleb. then miss toh kinda stopped for a while. yea its joash. haha he was so paiseh after tt cuz miss toh announced tt he was playing somemore.. haha blehx =P

gold with honours. *screams*

GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD

GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD

GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD

GOLD GOLD GOLD GOLD

WITH WITH WITH WITH

WITH WITH WITH WITH

WITH WITH WITH WITH

WITH WITH WITH WITH

HONOURS HONOURS

HONOURS HONOURS

HONOURS HONOURS

HONOURS HONOURS

omgoodness. WHOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *screams*

okay YES WE GOT THE GOLD WITH HONOURS FOR CHOIR SYF 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cant believe it. its such a miracle. praise God. it really was His work today. we would not have been able to get the gold with honours otherwise. oh mann. oh my. ahhhhhhh *screams again*.

the performance this morning was quite okay. when miss lim came in the morn for warm-ups she said we had a '12 o'clock sound'..so its all in the mindset rite. haha. n then we went to the place for the syf n it was so so scary. like walking up onto tt stage n trying to think positive n all tt. n then when we sang, i think we were nervous. but sunset was fine..cui dong cui was SO INCREDIBLY RUSH. yea. n i think after tt miss lim got rather pissed but she din really show it cuz we still had one more song yea. but cui dong cui was so cute k. cuz im standing in the first row end. then can see all the basses on the opposite side. the expressions so funny. haha i mean it as a compliment tho. um yea..

then ave was okay.. i think we went a lil out of tune? yea n it was a bit unstable. but not too bad. n then we listened to 2 choirs: pasir ris cres n presbytarian high. yep. n we went back to sch.

towards 5 we went back to Singapore conference hall. n it was so terrible to wait. n the seniors who had listened to us said tt we could only hope for a low gold. n even miss lim herself told us not to expect the honours. i was preparing myself for the silver. n even as we waited outside we were like ready to cry le.

then we went in. n they announced in order.. silver, silver, silver, GOLD WITH HONOURS. we jumped up n screamed. oh my it was so loud. n it was such a miracle. God is faithful. praise God. yAY!!! haha. then we went out of the hall n we were all hugging each other n crying.

i love u lord.

up and down

sigh. im doing worse for term2 then term1. first got back tt emath test which was like 18/30. n every single thing is a stupid careless calculation error. then today had amath test. there were 6 qns. of which i could only do 3. n the 3 r those with the least mark percentage de. 3+3+5=11. not enough to pass. hope mr tan gives me method marks for qn2. i was calculating and trying to find ways so tt when the marks add up i can pass during the test itself. sigh. i don want to fail this test. its gonna be so hard to pull it up again.

aside frm tt.. had happy news yesterday.. haha in relation to the previous post. yea..so the matter is no longer um going to happen..yep at least for now. =) haha yay.

choir was um normal today. but it ended well at least. today we were so SO restless k. it din feel like second last prac before syf. poor marcus. sigh. but at least by the time miss lim came n everything we still ended okay la. yea.. mon! gold with honours!

haha..started the angel mortal game today in class. n my mortal is.. ... haha wonder who's my angel..haha jane's mortal rocks.. like so fun. but quite hard la. haha..

tmr is cross country..

*4 DAYS TO SYF 2005

the teachers leave

sigh. heard some sad news yesterday. still quite sad abt it, but oh well. at least had today. chapel was nice.

sorie if im pretty unclear. i don think i should put it so clearly here tho it doesnt really matter. the whole sch will knoe in 2 days. hm unless most knoe already. but im not sure. so better not. ill say more abt it when it happens. on thurs.

sigh..

okay. school has been okay so far.. at least i don think theres tt much to catch up really.. thank goodness. n yay i understand amath. a bit confusing tho. haha. nvm mr tan is trying hard le. other subs r fine. tho mr ow wants me to meet him for some hist thing cuz i think i missed quite a bit last wk? haha. but im so not free. had to have lit lesson after the debate workshop today cuz there was no other day. was like *yawn* tired. but the lesson was fun. yea *ahem* fun. miss hia is so SO act cute. haha sigh.

fri is april fools day. n its cross country. n the journalism team has to cover it n we have to split the work again juz like tt time for CNY which did not work out. hm hope its better this time. don even knoe whos doing the final article. sigh.

*6 DAYS TO SYF 2005
*23 april is my chinese Os prelims!?
* =) ... sigh =(

ended

sigh. find it hard to think tt tmr i wun b going to imcb anymore. the course end le. 3 days so fast guo le. sigh. miss the ppl. haha they very fun. it felt so weird returning to sch today. cuz like tt was the time when it was quite crowded..then like we take taxi into sch..so xtra liddat.

tho there were lots of times i din really understand wad was going on, tho now theres a pile of hw(i think) or at least a pile to catch up, the course was really nice.. the ppl r really nice.. haha n i think this wk im still in the hol mood. cuz it really still feels tt way.. so in a way we got one wk bonus hol la.. but cannot le. ahh muz wake myself up. quick focus back le.. lots to catch up.

got report bk today.. its not bad.. plenty of ppl will like bash my head n say its so super good.. haha but no i got b4 for hcl which is bad bad bad.. sigh ive nvr gotten a b4 for hcl before.. even sec1 was b3. then it went up to a2. sigh muz buck up le. the rest is alrite. tho i knoe my grades r slipping.. like the last emath test.. sigh. so careless. i need to pay greater attention in class...

but my L1R5 is 6. hehe yay n mr chan gave me a crunch bar. hm shd i be guai guai n eat it after syf? or don care...haha see how.

11 DAYS TO SYF 2005

imcb course

hey ppl in sch. do u miss me? haha im sure a whole 3 days w/o helsa is quite sad rite..haha jk jk. yep im not in sch not cuz im sick la. cuz me evan huifang n enting got this course at imcb, which is institute of molecular cell biology. i think. yep at biopolis which is behind moe hq. haha n the course is called diversication of muscles n neurons. so cheem rite..

actually quite a lot don understand de...but its fun la..n the lab is super cool. haha but i do understand some of it k. cept the more cheem stuff i think more of the jc ppl knoe.. yep theres like ppl frm acjc, which includes 2 ex-fairsians, vjc, ajc, rgs, acsi, tkgs, dunman high...yep the ppl r so fun la..haha yay like my lab partner.. serene frm dunman high.

the course is 3 days, 9am to 5pm. so can slp late. haha. n we have the keep these passes which cost 30bucks if misplaced n muz make police report. so its like super scared i lose it k. n we wear lab coats n gloves which makes my hands get covered in powder. ugh. cuz it kind of stinks. haha..

its been fun so far.. we're doing sth with zebrafish embryos...tho exactly wad im not sure...but under the microscope, the 24-hr ones look so cool k.. oh ya n theres jay chou.. wei liang frm vjc says hes jay chou..haha dotz. jay chou cant sing for nuts okay. sigh. haha n theres jonathan who was my sis sec4 classmate n hes in acjc now.. yep they're all so nice ppl..sigh the course ends tmr..will miss them lehh.

so fun to take photos..haha but huifang is camera shy. hmph.. will try harder.. haha but its so fast over le..tmr last day have to leave early cuz of choir..sigh n i heard theres a lot of hw...in particular hcl..haiyo..

term 2

tts it. the hols r over. wait wad hol? sigh i gave my precious march hols to choir. oh well. but ive finished my hw! haha yay.. trying to make ppl jealous..

actually ive still got odds n ends to clear la. tho it doesnt matter. cuz this wk not gonna go sch. haha yea im gonna pon. cuz me evan huifang n enting got this course thingy at biopolis. diversication of muscles and neurons. i don even knoe wad tt means. haha cuz last yr mrs ho signed us up for it. so yep. gonna miss sch frm tues to thurs. n fri is a public hol. n i get to sleep late! haha cuz the thing starts at 9. so great. but thurs gonna leave early cuz choir is more impt u knoe. :)

the concert performances on thurs n fri were okay. ppl say they were good. tho i don think so. it was so sharp i couldnt reach for ave k. n there was zero feeling. cuz its quite hard u knoe when.. haha complete the sentence. but i think we have improved quite a bit n the workshops were so fun! haha. the jap guy rocks k. radinka kept laughing i was facing the direction so i was trying my hardest to not laugh. haha but it was fun. the malcomn goldring person was nice too.. but the best was the jap guy's assistant. very very low voice. haha

we're gonna be getting our new gown on thurs! n its pink. like oh my goodness. mrs ong told us tt is was silver okay. sigh. really have no idea wad it will look like. n we have to buy the shoes as well. which r um silver? at least i think so. hm pink n silver? :S

15 DAYS TO SYF 2005

pissed

okay im pissed. sigh no la. at least not anymore. was pissed today tho. this afternn. sigh. i think the others were more pissed. actually i wasnt really angry, but they din want to talk to him so kept passing me the phone. but it was outside heeren on the phone than i got pissed. sigh. so passed it back to julia. din want to say anymore.

sorie if u don understand. nah im juz making a statement cuz i feel i should put it here yet i don want ppl to knoe. its not really good. yah.. but im not pissed le.. i understand la. both ways we all have our reasons n difficulties. hope the rest r not pissed le. old chung kee n kfc cheesy fries still not enough ah?? then wad.. still want coffee linus..?

okay please after reading this read the entry below. cuz im still happy. juz today kinda pissed. haha but im still happy okaay. yep. why? read below. juz ignore this pissed post. yep. i discovered today tt the most tiring thing to do in orchard, is to do absolutely nothing. expecially for a whole 3 hrs.

ive gotta forget abt today.

_read the entry below
_unless u read it already
_ :)

March hols!

its end of term one, n its march hols. yay! im quite quite glad for this one wk break. dunno why. juz need the break i guess. so yep im happy. haha realised ive said tt so many times recently. haha which is a good thing. yea..

why m i happy? haha yesterday's choir workshop went well.. yep not exactly great, but it ended well n tt was good.. altogether there were 13 schs (i think) that came to fairfield. lots of girl schs leh, the bb boys you kou fu.. haha we were practising in the humans rm, which is yea weird for prac. it wasnt really good while we were practising actually.. then we went to the hall where we sang n other choirs sang too. perhaps we got a morale booster frm the first choir (which were um not tt gd) or maybe (i hope not) it was juz one of those times when we do better, but we din sing badly. for once. yay :) haha tho cui dong cui was totally out of tune. i think the first chord was scary. haha but ave was better. felt the connection.. so yep tt was a good workshop..

we're starting to move forward.. really hope it stays in tt direction n not backslide again. im gonna make some countdown thingy n hang it above my table. haha. its officially:

22 DAYS TO SYF 2005

tt was yesterday. today im happy too! haha. why? cuz i joined music min today!! yay :) i thot long n hard abt tt okay. how long? for more than a yr now..at one pt, i think last yr, i said i would join after Os. then realised tt it wun really make a diff. n im joining now cuz i don really seem to have any form of improvement.. sure by practising i will get better, but i need someone to well teach me.. n yep so im joining to train, n then i can train my juniors better! :) or at least be of more help la.. n ill probably be doing vocals while i train to be 'good' enough to play.. yep. haha ming hui was like 'yea, on ah!' haha he says next time can put both sisters together, one sing n one play..haha okayy.

i will not boast in anything

no gifts no power no wisdom

but i will boast in Jesus Christ

his death and ressurection

why should i gain frm his remorse?

i cannot give an answer

but this i knoe with all my heart

his wounds have paid my ransome..

sec one chapel band

im blogging again. yay. today was so fun. haha went to help in the sec one chapel band training. dunno if i really helped anw. but it was fun..seems so long since i last played k..tho i got play at home la..

in my opinion, jae sung is ready to play for chapel! haha actually he was all along quite okay le...i din really help much la..juz being xtra..haha but it was so fun...

this yr theres a whole bunch of sec1s who've joined chapel band...they very enthu leh..so cute. haha fiona's brother so cute. then tt um play guitar one...dunno how to spell his name...hes like quite crazy. haha but i was wondering...no offence tho.. will every single one really stay for long? it'll be good if all stays..but usually it wun be all la...tho i think they're all pretty willing to commit..tts good..

im so glad the hols r coming. dunno why. tho the wk will pass so quickly. every single day is packed le. already. sigh. but its choir. which is so necessary. our syf date is out: 4april, 0945hrs. its so fast. ahh n its xinyi's bdae. haha n its in the morning! n its a day before our one yr anniversary of the italy competition last yr..still rem, it was 5april when we sang. sigh so fast one yr le. n almost everything is different now.

hm "your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus"-Phillipians 2:5 yay i rem the verse for this wk..haha we're on the third purpose of life for the 40dop: discipleship. 2 more to go. n so theres gonna be a ministry fair this sunday. cuz the fourth purpose is ministry.

n im still not sure if i should join music min. but every single person says join. sigh. the reason why i wanna join now is cuz if i wanna join, why not now? at first i wanted to wait til after Os, but once jd said if i say after Os, then ill say after As, n so on til its too late. so i think ill juz stop hesitating n join. n oso cuz rite now im not really improving. so ill join to improve too. yep n of course serve Him. =)

i sing to life and to its tragic beauty*

O levels

in sch rite now. having journalism. hehe i knoe im not supposed to slack. but i have nth to do n theres no time to type this once i reach home anw.

first. congrats to the volleyball c boys. they're champions of the southzone now!! whoo! haha. n to think zijian was so so worried.

was in the hall juz now. n today was the release of the o level results. oh my. its so overwhelming to juz stand in the place n hear everything going on. we had to be there to cover the event for journalism. congrats to all who did better than they expected!

i'm still overwhelmed. the TOP STUDENT GOT NINE A1S!!!! like whoa.

okay. carissa juz asked me to post this news: red cross drill com got top eight out of forty one schools. congrats!

to those who din do really well, don be too sad k? its okay. juz keep ur head high n smile. the storm clouds will clear to show the rainbow. after getting all the interviews i needed, we ran ard asking ppl how did they do. n its so so hard to find ppl okay. i couldnt find ppl like jesse n foo wai n so on. argh. haha but im so glad for the ppl who did well, like joanna, dennis! haha nine points leh. caleb, ten..cant rem who else. i gave a hug to a few seniors to cheer them up. yea. hope they're feeling better.

joe ah. liddat oso can so happy. sigh. haha okay. after all tt. i kept thinking this: im quite in the danger of crying in two yrs time. seriously. n u knoe wad? i wanna get tt 9 a1s too. yep. haha :)

two yrs more n its gonna be me sitting there, with the rest of the sec3s this yr. oh man. i cant stand the thot. but a lot will have changed by then. as everything keeps changing. again n again.

but some things don change. at least i hope so.

syf

had choir prac this morn. din sing on thurs cuz my voice wasnt really back. today i sang. tho my nose was totally blocked. so couldnt sing properly. n my ears r still blocked. at least i think so. its a weird sensation tt comes with flu. sigh. but anw yep tried to sing but couldnt sing well.

miss lim came tho tt time they were saying shes not coming. so yep we had warmups, which din go too badly. then we started with cui dong cui. it wasnt as bad. tho we need to bounce more. but din stay on tt piece for too long. went on to sunset. n ave maris stella which was when the bad bad part started. n it ended with miss lim walking out on us.

then joan talked to us. some of us started crying. then the sec4s did wad they had planned to do. which was to sort of bring us back to 2yrs ago when they had syf2003. they asked us to close our eyes. then pris goy n samantha took turns to narrate. n they went part by part of tt day in 2003. n the sec4s sang o magnum. everyone was crying by then.

rite now our standard is bronze. barely silver. its the truth. cuz tho we r inconsistent, the ups r nvr really more than acceptable n the downs r seriously bad bad bad. n there r more downs than ups anw. syf starts 1 april. to 8 april. we have barely 3 pracs more with conductor. n our supposed aim/result is the gold with honours.

maybe a miracle will happen. but we cant keep depending on miracles. they don always happen. i believe everyone is trying. but not 100% la. i guess im guilty too. but i do want tt gold. for sec3s we only get one shot at syf. cuz of the yr we came in. whereas sec2s have the next syf to go n the sec4s r experiencing their second syf le. i guess we've been taking it for granted. like ultimately somehow some way tt gold with honours will come.

rite now all we can do is put in effort n leave it to God le. miss lim wants to change song. to salmo 150. seriously i don want tt. ave maris stella is so much better. but wadeva it is we juz have to accept n try for it le. sigh

thnx zijian for the encouragement =)

oops

heyy im back. i knoe i havnt updated for 14 whole days which translates into 2 wks. yep. sigh. its like everytime i try to update cuz i want to then i realise its been a long time since i updated so theres like so much so i have no idea where to start. n im not making sense.

im in sch rite now. haha its r&d period. which since the abc classes r having studyskills is left with juz 2 grps so the teachers have abandoned us. n we're all alone. yay :) haha

okay. had studyskills on mon-wed. which was nice. ya i think it was a really good workshop. so much crying. i cried on wed nite. during the sharing. din get the chance to share tho. i missed the second day tues. cuz i was sick. again. i couldnt believe it...

I LOVE CARISSA. SHE ROCK SOCKS. EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE HER THE WAY I DO. please do..love!

wow. tt was frm..carissa. obviously. haha ANW yep i could not believe it la. second mc in a term okay. n last yr i had zero. sigh i hate swallowing tablets.

anw the 40 dop thingy in church is past its first quarter. today is day 13! i think the book is so cool. realised a lot of things since i started it. yep God does speak to me. :)

HELSA LOVES CARISSA TOO MUCH. SAY YOU LOVE HER TOO.

stupid carissa augustina hong. get away frm my keyboard!!

haha oh ya. huifang n amanda plsplsplslps come for the msgs okayy? its not complete by juz reading okay. hmm did u all read?? haha okay muz try lehh...

studyskills made a lot of us realise things tt we din knoe, or have been taking for granted for too long. when some ppl shared i felt so guilty. like im such a bad fren. cuz i din even knoe tt such stuff were in their lives. sigh. so i went home n spent an hr plus writing lil notes for 10 ppl. sorie to those who din get one. my eyes were killing me already. yep but basically i wanna be more thankful. abt a lot of things. n to verbalise more things la.

brrr im cold. cuz im sitting directly under the air-con. so intelligent rite. sigh. okay i shall end here.

p/s josh groban rocks okayy

CNY

heylo blessed chinese new year! haha luv this wk. its so holiday-y. feels weird tho. its fri but feels like mon. anw i realised today tt ppl dunno how to appreciate good music n singing oKAYY. haha yea josh groban rawks. grobanites unite! haha okay i learnt tt frm someone else. din come up with it so don stare at me liddat.

im gonna put another song lyrics. k anw i ate recess today. muz record cuz its the first n last time. haha jane is a baad influence. n then juz now went with my sis to eat sakae buffet. oh my im so full. wun eat dinner. n i realise im not really a fan of sushi after all.

okie yay i luv this song too. its the troy soundtrack. n its nice. =)

remember
>> Troy soundtrack, Josh Groban
Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning
So brightly
It is the last light
To fade into the rising sun
I'm with you
Whenever you tell
My story
For I am all I've done

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember me

I am that one voice
In the cold wind
That whispers
And if you listen
You'll hear me call across the sky
As long as
I still can reach out
And touch you
Then I will never die

Remember
I'll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me.. remember me...

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me
Remember... me...

believe

yay bought the josh groban dvd! its so so nice =) haha ya n the polar express soundtrack is so nice!! the troy one oso.. =)

Believe-
by Josh Groban, from the Polar Express soundtrack

Children sleeping.
Snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling
Like bells in the distance

We were dreamers
Not so long ago
But one by one, we
All had to grow up

When it seems the magic slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas Day

Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
Give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe-

Trains move quickly
To their journey's end.
Destinations
Are where we begin again

Ships go sailing
Far across the sea
Trusting starlight
To get where they need to be

When it seems that we have lost our way
We find ourselves again on Christmas Day

Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste
There so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
You have everything you need
If you just believe-

if you just believe..

looking back

yea finally an update. i do wonder if re-blogging is gonna work cuz i don think im gonna be updating often. sigh too busy. haha journalism today was nice. sad tt a lot of the sec3s couldnt make it tho. i realised the sec1s r so um cute? haha n so lame. tmr gonna cover CNY n everyone is involved. like messy messy. haha n i have to work during CNY period to compile the article. *tsk tsk*

k. its so weird to like suddenly start blogging again cuz i stopped um last yr oct i think. which is pretty long ago. okay so its been 1 month++ of sec3 life. n its been.. different. yea..i realised how incredibly guai 2A was.. like those no discipline prob class. absolutely. yet it was fun last yr. in a like very peaceful(wait not quite) n like innocent(?) way. haha i dunno how to decribe it. but every yr has been so different. 1A was like really siao. like up n down up n down. 2A was suddenly so quiet. then it became not noisy but um i dunno.. more comfortable la.. ya the kind of stuff ppl take for granted. tt kind of feeling. n a lot of photos! haha cuz of mr kwa. he influenced xinyi n dunno who else la. but its nice to see those photos. =)

okie im gonna put my thanksgiving here. cuz its related to the class thing n.. cuz im like influenced by the 40 dop n match retreat. haha yep. anw cuz last yr i was (i admit) dreading 2005. really really cuz i din knoe wad to expect la. but towards the end of 2004 i wasnt really so dreading it le. kind of like 'accepted my fate'. haha no la tt sounds so.. wrong. oh well but anw thank God cuz 3E has been so nice so far. really mean it okayy. haha yep i don regret choosing hist at least. n my teachers r nice cuz they give lesser hw than 3F. haha thank goodness. poor 3F ppl! =P

im really trying to do shorter entries. which don really work. but anw some updates. 40 dop start le! yay n huifang can come! haha im really happy k..ya i was praying tt u'll be able to come at least for the 6 wks..=) k btw it stands for 40 days of purpose campaign which is going on in my church. started yesterday. today's second day. yep. oh n had match(ministering @ tacklebox: care and hospitality) retreat on sat. tt was nice. yep im doing com cards. yep no more things to say.

loving it

oh my.. i so love my blog skin.. haha yay im baaack! kind of got the feel for blogging back ard end of hols. yea which is a bad bad time cuz i was super busy. kind of still m. really shouldnt be doing this rite now but i dunno. cant help it. haha.

like the piano pic. anw im really glad i finally got round to getting my blog back. tho i doubt ill ever blog more than once..or twice a week. no time n no inspiration to do a proper entry now..so will update asap. maybe next weekend. yep. tc =)

helsa`